


Reassurance

by angededesespoir



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (between jack's parents), Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Insomnia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smoking, Survivor Guilt, implied/referenced trauma, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:05:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9859286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angededesespoir/pseuds/angededesespoir
Summary: Jack opens up to Gabe about some things that have been on his mind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _So, I’m not entirely sure how I want to HC Jack’s family, yet. Haven’t had the chance to think much on it._  
>     
>  _I just needed to vent certain things, and I decided to turn to Jack for that b/c he helps me cope w/ a lot of stuff. *Looks at him* I’m so sorry for making you suffer._
> 
> _(Can also be read on[Tumblr](http://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/157540100440/reassurance).)_

Gabe shivers in the cold, his breath visible and mingling with the smoke from the cigarette that he passes between Morrison and himself.

It’s the dead of the night, approximately four hours before they’ll be sent out on their next mission and, like usual, neither of them can sleep. 

Instead, they met up hours ago, same spot- a practiced routine. They huddle close, trying to share warmth, and, not for the first time, Gabriel wishes he had grabbed a blanket. (Even if the cloth was terribly thin, it was at least something.)

Each time they do this, it varies. Sometimes they talk a lot, sometimes not at all- just taking solace in eachother’s company. 

This time begins in silence. An occasional word here and there, the sound of inhales and exhales, a lighter.

It’s a few hours in when Jack finally breaks the silence.

“I didn’t mean to stay here, you know? It was only meant to be for a few years.” 

He takes the cigarette from Gabe, takes a moment to breathe in and slowly breathe out before he continues, cig now resting, forgotten, between his fingers. 

“I just- I needed a break. I needed to get away for awhile. But now- now that I’ve seen what it’s like, I’m- I ‘m not sure I can go back.

Especially now. I’m needed here. Wanted. I feel that I might be doing something right for once.” He pauses, hand fidgeting with the cig, eyes focused on that- an attempt to avoid making eye contact with the eyes he feels on him. “I don't want to mess this up, Gabe.”

“You won’t.”

“But what if I do?” He dares to meet the other man’s eye for a second, long enough to pass the cigarette to Gabe, then he averts his eyes, stares off up at the stars in a way that Gabriel recognizes as him not actually looking at anything at all, even though literal galaxies are being offered to him. 

“I’ve messed up so badly in the past. I wasn’t strong enough, Gabe. There’s.....there’s so much blood on my hands. So many teammates that have died in my arms or by my side, trying to have my back. And it should have been me. I know it should have been me. But for some reason I keep being spared. And I keep failing.

There’s so many citizens that I couldn’t get to in time. I can- I can still hear their screams, see the explosions. 

And my mother.....I still can’t protect her. Even now, even knowing that I can physically handle my father- emotionally, mentally, I don’t...I don’t think I can. And I don’t understand why.”

Gabe watches him shift uncomfortably, and he’s half tempted to reach out, to offer a comforting touch, but he’s not sure that’s the best course of action. Not sure if it’s one of those nights where Jack needs space or if it’s one where he’s comfortable with the physical contact he’s told Gabe he craves (but doesn’t quite know how to handle, how to accept). 

So he waits, watches, listens. Jack eventually continues.

“He’s.....he- he isn’t a good man. I know that. But.....but he’s my dad. And he’s always worked so hard to support us. And...and I was taught that you should respect and obey your parents.” Jack takes a breath, closes his eyes for a few seconds before he dares to come back to a reality he doesn’t wish to remember. 

“I’ve always walked a fine line between them, trying to obey both, trying to please both. But I-,” there’s a grimace, a hesitation. “I can never make the right choice. I’m always going to hurt someone. And I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t...I don’t want to be like him.”

“Jack....,,” he risks gently brushing the other man’s arm, and to his surprise, Jack curls closer into him.

Gabe takes this as a sign. He smashes the cigarette butt out, lets it drop from his fingers to the cold cement beneath them. He wraps his arms around his partner, his friend, his love, lets the man rest his head on his chest.

“Jackie, mi amor, you aren’t him. And none of that is your fault.” He lovingly strokes the man’s back, trying to find the right words to say; knowing that it won’t be able to fix things, but hoping that it at least helps, if only for a moment.

“You deserve to be here, mi luna. You deserve to be alive. You’re a shining star, so full of potential and purpose. What you do- that’s your choice. Life’s hard, cariño, and it’s not going to get any easier. Not any time soon, at least. But I’m here for you. I’ve got your back. And I believe in you, Jack.”

He feels the man curl closer, hears the murmured, “Thank you, Gabe.”

He holds him tight, hand continuing to rub Jack’s back soothingly. He quirks his head down to press a kiss to the blond’s temple.

It’s not enough. It will never be enough. But it’s something. An ounce of reassurance.

For now they are both relatively safe, away in their own separate world. Soft touches and whispered words, for a second, louder, more powerful, than dropped bombs and reopened wounds.

**Author's Note:**

> _*Shoves some of my issues & feelings onto fictional characters in hopes that I can actually learn to confront them, explore them, and deal with them- but from a safe distance*_


End file.
